Big Dreams

Now I haven't talked much about my big dreams, as such noted in my website URL. Sometimes I feel like the dreams are attainable, but then I think about how long it could possibly take to achieve them and it upsets me. How long is it going to take? Will I still have ambition?

My biggest dream right now is my first home. I have been ready mentally, basically financially, but the actual idea of doing it scares me. Is B really ready? He says he is, but he worries me too. He doesn't really like to talk about it because he doesn't want the idea to upset us if we don't qualify for enough money at the bank or if the reality of how much things are going to cost will put a burden on us.

I'm ready to take the leap. To be a "grown up." I'm so sick of living in the basement of his now RETIRED parents. And it's not really the basement, it's our bedroom. That's it. Nothing else. We get to have a bedroom to claim as our space and that's it. It would be different if we could have the whole basement to ourselves, but that has never even been an idea because it would never fly with his parents. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO PRIVACY.

It ruins my other dreams and hobbies. I love to do crafts and art projects. Like painting. I'm not great, but I like to do it. If I were to paint at their house, I'd have to pick up everything like it never happened. You can't do that with projects like this! It would be so time consuming and it just wouldn't justify the hobby.

I want a pet. I'd LOVE a cat, but B is really allergic to them, so I'd be happy with a mutt of a dog. Not the pure bred types, I want a good mix that will be adopted from a shelter. Those are my favorite, and they seem to be the best dogs too. Can we have a dog at B's parent's house? NOPE.

I want to learn how to play guitar. Loud music after work and the gym around 8:00pm? NOPE. NOT HAPPENING.

I want to have friends again. I know this sounds sad, but I feel that my relationships with friends are weak because I can never have the chance for them to come over and hang out. Awkward, right? Yep, it's not happening at this house.

This is just the beginning, but you can see that I have walls to climb to achieve these goals. It's going to be hard, but I'm hoping it will come soon. I think once B and I take that Home Stretch Workshop it will really get us focused and on the right path to get that dream to become reality.