Hello Summer Tan

Finally! I have a tan. It's been many years since I've had a great looking tan all over. What's even better? I haven't started to peel...yet. Normally my nose starts peeling immediately, but I must be using the right stuff for moisturizer that nothing has happened yet! I'm so happy!

Well, I've been gone on vacation from the 15th through the 22nd up in Siren, WI.

IT WAS WONDERFUL.

The weather couldn't have been more perfect. The fishing was actually pretty decent this year. I got to swim/float in the lake for hours without getting cold.

The day we got there, we met a new friend, Wally.

 We think he was abandoned by his family, because there weren't any ducks near him the entire time we were at the lake. Poor little guy. We think he is a wood duck, but couldn't be quite sure. He seemed part penguin...yes penguin... because he had these huge feet that made him kind of waddle.

Since he was so tiny and young, I decided to take him in as his mother.

 

 

He wouldn't leave my side once I held onto him. Throughout the night, he would swim and then jump onto our feet. Peeping if he didn't see any feet to jump on. When it was starting to cool down, he wanted to be held and would just sit in my hands with his eyes closed as if he wanted to sleep. Unfortunately, B's dad wouldn't let me keep him in the cabin (womp womp, since I'm an adult and should be able to make my own decisions for Pete's sake) I decided to find a place for him on land. Well once I put him down and walked away to the bonfire, he just followed me like he'd be lost without me by my side. I felt so bad. I eventually put him further away from the cabins and he settled on swimming for a while.

 



 

 

He showed up every morning for 4 days at our dock just a peeping away and swimming. Unfortunately, he disappeared on the 4th day, later in the day. Poor little fella, I'm hoping he just found a new place to hang out at or a duck family to join. I'm being optimistic, unlike B. "Eagle's needed something for breakfast"...guhhhh....

 

Silly for me to say, I enjoyed Wally's appreciation of me. He had that "need" for me, like a mother. I guess I haven't had that feeling in a long time, or maybe ever. I'm not sure. It felt really good and I want to feel it again.

 

My first Pinterest project is almost finished. I finally found the final element on Amazon, so I just need to wait for it to arrive, and I'll be able to show it here on the blog! I'm so happy, because it's cool!

 

Weight loss....well...it's basically non existent. It's all in my head. I have all these goals set, but I just can't seem to stick to my plans. I think I just have so much negativity around me and no support. No one to help out. I should be able to do this on my own, but I can't. They always say weight loss is some odd ball % physical and a huge % mental. Of course, I struggle with the mental part.

 

I know the saying, " I'll start Monday" is so old and ridiculous, but I really think I need to set this goal for real this time. Come Monday, I will only have 1 month until Wefest, and a few weeks after that will be mine and B's 5 year anniversary. I want to look nice for pictures and for myself. I mean, wouldn't a nice LEANER me be a nice gift for B? I'd like to look great for him, for him to be proud of me and not continuously shaking his head when I grab for a 2nd cookie or when I'm hungry for a snack when we just ate a couple hours ago. It gets old, but I know he gets frustrated when I created my 10 before 30 goals and I don't stick to them. I'll get there. I just need to be mentally ready. I'm thinking that it actually feels like Summer now, hopefully the skinny bitches on the beach with their tiny bikinis will finally get my mind ready and jealous, so I'd lose a few pounds. LOL

 



Stars and Stripes Forever

Happy Flag Day!

Today we honor that our country in 1777 adopted the stars and stripes for the national flag! I'm so proud to be an American, and I love everything about patriotism.

I somewhat set a PR at the gym yesterday. I normally don't keep track, that's why it's not official, but I thought it was pretty damn good if I do say so myself. Sorry, no pic because I was too slow to grab my phone after I hit the stop button. Oops!

Here it is: 3 miles on the elliptical in 28:23. That's a 9:30 per mile! I couldn't believe it. Yes, it's on the elliptical, so it's a little easier than on a dreadmill or on the street. I do have to add that I had the resistance on level 5 and the course was set at random hills. I'm happy with myself! I pushed hard. What was funny is that afterwards, I felt hot, but I wasn't tired! I probably could have kept going if my yoga stretching class wasn't going to start soon. I'll have to strive for a further distance next time at that pace :)

Just one more day until vacation! Yay! Siren, WI here we come! Yeah, yeah. It's just 1 1/2 hours away, but it's a week vacation at a cabin, on a lake, hopefully with great weather, and time for relaxation and fun. We're hoping for decent fishing this year since the weather has been cooler, but at the same time that could be a bad thing (no spawning). Cross our fingers cuz mama could use a good fish fry!

Sorry I didn't post a Weigh in Wednesday. I didn't feel that this week would prove justice simply because of all the bloating and water retaining I've been feeling this last week, if you catch my drift. I normally gain anywhere between 3-7 pounds during this week. I know! It's bad! My water intake levels have gotten better, so hopefully that will help reduce the gain, but it's hard to tell.

Well. Just gotta make it through this last work day before vacay. I'm so ready for this get away I can barely stand it. Bring on the lake, beer, and sunshine!

Letter to My 21 Year Old Self

Dear Steph (21),

Wow. Finally 21, and legal. You were a good girl besides, but now the fun comes out of you. You test your limits with booze....beer chugging races at Mick's Bar, jello shots, drinking in the dorm rooms at noon just because you feel like it...then get caught and lose the mini fridge for the rest of the year. Damn. Don't worry. You'll grow out of this QUICK. You're more mature for your age, so booze isn't the primary thing in your life for long. Although, it did help you meet the love of your life!

You should take advantage of getting to know more business class colleagues. Life is tough when college is over, and having those relationships would help with life to find a great job. But of course, you're Super Steph and think you have nothing to worry about because you're great at everything you do. Thanks Mom and Grandma for always telling you this crap and making you believe it, even though you really should have tried harder. Life doesn't just get handed to you at the finest level, you have to work for it. Trust me.

Enjoy that trip to California with your old friend from Germany! He was a high school crush and you think he'll FINALLY realize what a catch you are, but in the end, you end up realizing he's not for you. Good for you. He'll still be a great email friend in the end, but someone greater is about to enter your life.

Don't tell Danielle, but thank goodness she decided to be a dumb ass and not use sunscreen on her fair, redhead type skin at Wefest 2008. If she wouldn't have went home for the rest of the vacation, you wouldn't have met B! What a fantastic guy for you! You have a lot in common, he's a gentleman (in the smallest ways, I might add), and would mark the beginning of a wonderful life together! But come on, lose the cowbell and dumb ass glasses. You don't need to look like a drunken, lost fool while having a good time.

Try to live life a little more fuller than you normally do. You never realize how quick it goes until you get to be 26 and realize that the best of your 20's are nearly gone and haven't really achieved many of your personal goals. A great job, getting married, buy a house, children... don't even think about it because it's not going to happen probably until you turn 30. Boo, I know, but deal with it. Life is hard sometimes. Just suck it up and deal with living with B's parents, in the basement, for a few years. You think it's going to be for only a few months...oh and are you so wrong. It's really going to test your relationship with B, but it just makes it stronger. Trust me. The time will come to buy a house, don't you worry. Just gotta wait for the right one to come along in your neighborhood.

Oh, and don't tell Grandma that you and B have separate bedrooms. Come on now. Yes, she is naive and would believe it for quite some time, but a white lie is still a lie. She needs to get with the times.

Enjoy being the weight that you are right now, because in a few years it's going to be tough to lose a TON of it to get back to your college weight. Love does that you know. Not a care in the world now that you have a man that loves you no matter what, but don't let that make you think you can stop eating healthy and crap every day and as much of it as you want. Peep eating contest, walking to get a frozen cheesecake dipped in chocolate on a stick, cheese pizza with extra cheese...yeah. that's what I'm talking about. Knock it off. It's going to bite you in the ass...and hard!

Other than that, have fun! Enjoy being young and free. And poor. And fat. Just gotta lay it out there.

Love,

Older, fatter, but wiser, Steph (26)

 

Oh Monday...

What a drag of a day to start off the week. It's cool, dreary, and wet. Just like the last couple of months around here. It sure doesn't feel like June. And in a week, we're off to Siren for a week of vacation with B's family. PRETTY sure there wont be any swimming in Clam Lake this year. Way too cold! The sun has only been out a couple days the last few months, so there hasn't been any chance of warming that lake water.

I'm so excited for vacation. I need it. I need to relax and find myself. But at the same time, this vacation is with the same people that I see from day to day...B's family. Nothing wrong with it because I love them all, but it would be nice to have a week vacation away from family with just B and I. We both know that they can all drive us up a wall once and a while.

B and I played cribbage this weekend to get me brushed up for vacation. Especially if it's crappy out, I'm sure we'll be playing quite a bit of this. What was awesome? I beat him both times! Best 2 out of 3, with 2 sets. He wasn't very happy since he's a very competitive person, but what can I say, maybe I'm a natural :)

B's grandma turned 90 this weekend and we had a party for her at the church she belongs to. Lots of people came, which I was glad for. She sure knows a lot of great people!

I finished a Pinterest project this weekend! Well, almost. I have it all laid out, it just needs a 2 part acrylic resin epoxy to seal it and create a flat surface. I'm pretty proud! Yes, it might look redneck, but I love anything patriotic to our country, AND of course...beer.

 

 

I need to kick my fitness into high tail starting today. I've just been so terrible at it. The eating. The working out. Nothing has been going well because I'm not sticking to it. Why can't I just have somebody kick me in the ass and get going already?

 

I follow a blog, Hang On Honey, and she talks about the little thing called moderation. She suffers just like me. I can't just have a moderate amount of chocolate, sweets, cheese, fattening shit. Nope...once I start, I over indulge and feel guilty about it afterwards. I think I may just have to go cold turkey and cut out the bad stuff for a while until I get myself on the right track. Then I can treat it as a treat for a job well done...in moderation. Here comes the rabbit food...

WLW #1: Let's Get this Thing Started!

So I made it to the gym last night after work. That was tough. The weather here has been so gloomy, wet, and rainy, that I had no motivation to get going and exercise. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and watch TV all night. Not so for me!

I ran on the elliptical for 45 minutes, which seemed forever the last 20 minutes or so. I wanted to do some strength conditioning, but I was exhausted. Hopefully tonight I can squeeze that in before yoga and STRETCH. I saw a woman running on the elliptical last night who had her feet hanging over the edge of the front of the pedal. Is there a benefit to that? Or is she just being her special own self?

I've noticed I'm very inflexible lately. Not sure if it's because I'm often dehydrated, just not stretching enough, or what. I'm hoping that I can get as nimble as I used to be and be able to do the splits again!

Now for Weight Loss Wednesday, I'm officially just starting...AGAIN. Hopefully I can stick with it again. My starting weight for this adventure is going to be (according to the gym's scale last night):

237

I've been fluctuating between 233 and 237 for quite some time now because I've been doing everything half assed. Eat really good all day, then wolf down a ton of sweets when I get home. Not workout for a week at a time. It just screws up all the hard work you had already put in. Why do I do it? I have no idea. Fear of commitment? Fear of never being able to eat those nummy treats again? Who the hell knows. I think once I actually hit a 10lb milestone, things should click. SHOULD.

B has been getting tiny. He just mentioned that he can now fit into a few of his large tshirts, which I figured was coming because his XL are getting big and frumpy. His pants are just terrible. He has no ass! So come fall, I'll have to buy him some cute ones to flatter his tiny butt :)

Feeling hungry today...ugh that makes a day tough to stay motivated to eat healthy. But I do have a yummy lunch today which I'll post here:

Easy Asian Salad

2 C. Romaine lettuce with carrots and red cabbage

1/8 C. mandarin oranges

1/2 Tbsp. sliced natural almonds

2 Tbsp. Marzetti poppy seed dressing

This salad is SOOOOOO good. Sweet and tangy and only 290 calories for all of it! Of course, there is no meat, but if you choose you could add chicken breast for some protein and make it even tastier! I can't take credit for it, but I'll give credit to my boss' wife :) Thanks!

Where's that Bandwagon?

Boy, I've been missing for quite a while now on blog world.

Simply, I've been very uninspired lately to write about anything. My life has been busy, but not in exciting ways per say. I've been tired, lazy, and have had a don't care attitude. I HATE IT.

Well now it's June, and I'm hoping to turn my attitude around and get going again. I miss the gym, in a weird way. I hate thinking that I need to go there, but once I'm there, I'm fine. I always feel good afterwards, so I'm not sure why I still hate going there. LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP.

What I think I miss the most is MY life. I realized that I don't really take the time to do the things that I want to do. I'm either working my ass off to stay afloat in this wonderful financial driven world, or I'm running home to have supper with B's family because that's what they like to do. Then I'm stuck at home afterwards doing NOTHING.

I told B that I don't want to watch a lot of TV this summer. We're only in our 20's for a few more years, and I want to live up those years the best that I can. I want to go fishing after work. I want to go for mini hikes/walks. I want to rough it style camping. ENJOY Minnesota summers being outdoors.

I'd also like to pick up some crafty hobbies, but those might have to wait until we get our own home. I just cant stand to pick up my stuff when I'm done working on it for the day. I want to leave it out until it's complete.

On a happier note, B makes me so happy. He is just the man that I need and want in my life. We just seem to compliment each other just perfectly. He understands me. My weird quirks or crazy family life doesn't scare him off. He embraces it. I'm so thankful to have him in my life :)

We've had a lot of weird weather here lately. Lots of rain storms and wind. I caught this picture Friday night before B and I went to see The Hangover III. (not the greatest, I have to mention). It was a nice sight for our long overdue date night.

Well hopefully I'll be able to write more later. Have better stories. Stick to a weight loss plan (for a while).

Speaking of, I think to keep myself more accountable to this blog, I'm going to assign 3 topics to the days I'd like to write:

Manic Monday: recap of the weekend, goals for the week, misc. writing
Weight Loss Wednesday: Wednesday weigh in and recap of fitness routine and eating habits. Maybe a good recipe once and a while.
Feel Good Friday: My happies for the week that made it a good week. Plus what's to come that weekend.

Hopefully I can stick to this to keep me on track!

More later!